i can't believe i actually used to hate chocolate milk. i think i used to be a major freak or something.

i pick off the layers of my fingernails until they become very brittle. i like peeling layers off things, i like the act of uncovering, trying to reach a center. or maybe i just like destroying tiny things. i chew on plastic a lot.

i will be 21 years old in one month? did i talk about this. i feel like i talked about this. in china somebody found a snake that grew a whole foot. i think that's pretty neat. i don't understand why i can only make good friends with people who live far away. i don't understand why my thoughts and words are so simple lately.

it's fall and fall is my favorite season and it got sortof cold today and it was so wonderful i could barely stand it. the leaves are starting to come off the trees and get all crunchy and crumbled on the ground. i get more introverted by the minute. i am nervous about everything. but i cannot wait to go on wonderful fall adventures. fall is the season i fall in love and i hope it happens again in some way this year because that's an awful nice feeling. i've used the word "fall" too much in this paragraph.

soon i will learn to ride a bicycle and i will get a flask and engrave it with something and then i will ride around the streets and drink under trees and read books under blue skies and stand on bridges and throw rocks in the river. sometimes i think i want to take out a classifieds ad and it would say:

"WANTED: someone to go to parks with
at night, under extremely tall baseball field lamps
to go on long walks with
preferably with a vehicle
so we can drive to the city beaches at night when it's cold
and stick our heads out the windows when we're going fast down a busy street
on a friday or saturday night when there are a lot of people out at bars and dance clubs
and we'll say we don't understand why they do that,
put themselves through that,
when you can drink at home and dance in the streets,
and we'll say we understand why dogs do this, this sticking their heads out the windows business
and we should do it at least once a week to keep our spirits up, you know
someone to go to libraries with
and museums of natural history
someone who doesn't have other people and doesn't want other people and someone who doesn't get sad or angry and someone who doesn't get disappointed in me
someone who doesn't care about wasting gas or time or energy
someone who is a book person and doesn't want to talk about it
someone who is not far away, preferably in the northwest suburban chicago region,
just so when we'd call each other late at night it wouldn't be long a long wait after saying, "let's just fucking go somewhere, man"
(it doesn't matter where, i promise, really, i'm not all that picky)
someone to exchange mix cds with and talk about airplanes and write things on the sides of buildings with, someone who responds instantly, and with rapture--
and someone who is quiet and honest and not someone to have sex with, not even to make out with,
someone who knows things, wonderful, terrible, fantastic things."

just one more time, promise i don't need to worry
marching band - for your love


  1. If I saw this in a newspaper, it would make me so happy =D Beautiful photos & nicely said!

  2. oh i love the writing, autumn is my favourite too.

    if i could find someone who would do all those things i wouldn't need much else.

  3. hi. i would like to fill out an application please...

  4. Great to see that you also have a blog...haha. :)

  5. Hi,
    I live in France (I'm french), I'm a photographer, it's my job. I saw you first time on Flickr. I love your work and all this incredible place you shoot... congratulation young girl : you've got a real talent !

  6. Hello!
    After a while without visiting your flickr i arrived to your blog! It is lovely! I have you among my myspace friends (used one of yours as a layout). And my new post here has some of yours again!

    Loved to see you here!

  7. Hi Cari!
    Thanks for replying to my email and following my blog. I'm so glad you let me know about yours, I've really enjoyed reading it and looking through all of your photographs

  8. those pictures are perfect. I love them xxx

  9. waw this makes me wonder if we share the same mind. I wish I was part of a clique of wonderboys and girls, and we could dress up and dance and sing and magicmagicmagic! :)

  10. i just found your blog dear and it is absolutely magical:)if i saw this in a newspaper,i don't think i could contain myself!i agree with heleen above,we should make a club of wondergirls and boys,and do the most magical things:)

  11. I found that I can make good friends with people who live far away ,too.

    I wish more people would be like the "someone" you want.:)

  12. I found your work on Flickr awhile ago and just noticed you had a blog. Love this post, I can sympathize with much of it.

  13. This entry stirred us. Keep sharing your words, and yourself. It's beautiful.

  14. its so refreshing to know that my mind isnt alone in working like this. i feel like you would be a fantastic person to go with adventures on, with great art resulting from it. i hope you find your adventurefriend soon.

  15. Nice blog!


  16. WANTED: I want to live somewhere where there are abandoned buildings and amusement parks waiting to be photographed. I want to live somewhere where hot air balloons are launched daily and parachutists fall safely to the ground. I want to live somewhere where they sell hot coffee at 2 in the morning and don't ask any questions. I want to be somewhere or someone who means something. I want to be able to run down the street hand in hand with a Canon and snap photos and wait for the bokeh to flicker across the screen; maybe take a panorama of me and you. I want to live somewhere where everyone has their little quirks and facial expressions. A place where it doesn't matter if you're on time or not because there is no "time." A place where this so-called "time" doesn't matter because it isn't tangible. A place where everyone slaps themselves in the face once and a while. Somewhere where magic does indeed exist and we see the world through a fisheye lense.

    That is what I want. And I'd just like to inform you that I want a friend like that, too. We should be friends (:




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illinois, United States
the fabulous destiny of cari ann wayman

all pictures by me unless otherwise stated.
all music is for sampling purposes only. please buy the records. if you are a musician and want your song removed, let me know.