some entries from my old livejournal before i got this blog here
january
i don't like to admit it but some of the time i am horribly, impossibly lonely. i feel nervous and light and watery around other people, i talk too quiet and too fast and my heart beats hard in my chest like a rabbit's.
february
i like my apartment, but, you know. being somewhere new is just horribly entertaining for me even if i'm not actually doing anything. i kindof want to draw a picture. maybe i'll do that. i'm scared.
march
escapism is starting to creep all over me again. i'm spring-loaded, i want to jump from tree branches.
april
it's this thought that's at the back of my mind that's warning me against it, that i should stay in the city longer and be a regular young person with fleeting relationships and searching for meaning in the backs of used bookstores. that i'm not ready to grow up, but i think i am and i can handle it now. still, i'm just afraid.
may
this is still my favorite thing.
june
and i know sometimes i will feel trapped or isolated, i acknowledge that, but i will always try to keep in mind that my heart just gets fluttery sometimes, my muscles get twitchy and anxious to run, and just to keep running won't ever get me anywhere except really out of breath. but that's such a good feeling sometimes.
july
how do you find out if someone is dead?
august
i wish i was a fourteen year old girl. i am so jealous of them all.
september
someone to exchange mix cds with and talk about airplanes and write things on the sides of buildings with, someone who responds instantly, and with rapture--
and someone who is quiet and honest and not someone to have sex with, not even to make out with,
someone who knows things, wonderful, terrible, fantastic things.
october
today is my birthday
it's the first day of the beginning of the end of the world
november
i am just waiting for someone to discover me i guess.
december
you can rely on me honey
loved this, beautiful photos
ReplyDeleteplease check out my new online vintage store if you have a spare minute
kissesandcrossstitchesvintage.blogspot.com
xxx
favourite blog post ever.
ReplyDeletemy favourite is
ReplyDelete"someone to exchange mix cds with and talk about airplanes and write things on the sides of buildings with, someone who responds instantly, and with rapture--
and someone who is quiet and honest and not someone to have sex with, not even to make out with,
someone who knows things, wonderful, terrible, fantastic things."
How come I feel like crying whenever I see your pictures and read your blog?
ReplyDeleteyou're one of my favorite photographers. i just thought you should know.
ReplyDeleteHappy 2010 to you. Best wishes. x
ReplyDeleteYour photos are amazing..! Really nice post.. :)
ReplyDeletei like this, you're a clever one.
ReplyDeletesuch gorgeous images!
ReplyDeletewords and images are inspiring.
ReplyDelete"i wish i was a fourteen year old girl. i am so jealous of them all."
ReplyDelete^ why?
btw i think you're beautiful and so are your photos. i want your life, it seems so interesting.
I think your photos and your words and your blog is just amazing. This is one of the best blog posts I've ever come across. I'm breathless. x
ReplyDelete'i don't like to admit it but some of the time i am horribly, impossibly lonely. i feel nervous and light and watery around other people, i talk too quiet and too fast and my heart beats hard in my chest like a rabbit's.'
ReplyDeleteOh dearest, you have expressed so many things I feel that it makes my heart ache. You write so much beauty in so few words - that is a true art. I am so glad to have stumbled upon this.
sarah
xo
its astounding how your words were able to reflect how i feel most of the time. your photos and words are all so inspiring, dear!
ReplyDeletexx
just remember that you're not the only one feeling like this! there are so many young grown-ups feeling what you described in this blog.
ReplyDeletei like the fact that youre honest about what you feel and that u use this as a kind of diary... (people will recognize this!!) including me
it's just a life fase you'll get out of eventually ;)
keep up the good work!! keep exloring! you do goooood
xx
this is beautiful
ReplyDelete