i don't feel like writing posts enough to keep up with how often i take pictures, or to supplement the amount of pictures i take. it's funny i used to want to be a writer.

i wish my life was interesting enough to write about all the time but it's not, and i don't want to become one of those lame blogging people who just write about their dumb boring lives like what they had for breakfast or what they did at work or the funny trick their cat did or something. i'm not talking about anyone in specific. i just don't have any opinions on what happens in the world, i don't pay attention to music or art or fashion or celebrities or culture, so i only want to talk about my life but only if it's not boring. it's not like when i was younger and everything had this sting to it. nothing happens and i don't feel torn about most things that do. and some things are secret and there's no way i am comfortable talking about those things on some old blog.

mostly i am just in my head and i go to school and i go to work and i come home and i eat a microwaveable dinner and i go to sleep and then i wake up at 5:30 in the morning and spend two hours doing my eyeshadow but it always looks like i got punched in the face.

i am just waiting for someone to discover me i guess.

emily jane white - time on your side

richmond fontaine - song for james welch


  1. You have already been discovered by the world. No worries.

  2. I know what you mean about wanting to be discovered, its almost a craving and becomes an obsession. (Well to me, ha)
    I have attempted blogging and I find it hard because my life is so boring. I don't think my life is suppose to be boring considering I'm 15. I'm suppose to be social and have a boyfriend and go shopping and actually enjoy all of these things. But I don't so there isn't much to talk about. So I talk about the things I wish my life was about. I talk about things like how my life SHOULD be and things I WISH I had and did. I know its probably a bad idea and will only lead to mourning over things I'm not, but that is honestly all I think about. But my life consists of photographing and writing and IMing friends on the computer because I'm too awkward in real life to do it.

  3. i was the same way when i was 15 and i'm the same way now, ha. what you said about talking about how your life should be --that's exactly all i think about. i'm too awkward in real life too. but i'm hoping maybe it's the weird quiet ones who just make stuff instead of talking to people who will actually do something of importance some day. but who knows! <3

  4. My blogs are empty for the same reason. Even this fun one I have on here hasn't been updated. :c

  5. sigh. ive been feeling the same way these days, i think ive exposed too much of myself in my blog. but your images make up for the lack of words and besides, sometimes, its better that way.


  6. I prefer reading this, a small glimpse in your head, over anything too tedious. You seem to have such a wonderful soul.

  7. I just wanted to take the time to tell you I really like your pictures. I wish you would post more :-). Thank you for posting.

  8. with these beautiful colors, you're life is very interesting, sweet! really good blog. put in my favorites.

  9. i've recently discovered your flickr, and as a result, your blog, and i really love your photographs. they all have a certain quality that i can't quite pinpoint, but really love. a lot of them also appeal to me in another way - i'd really like to draw them, and i was wondering if you'd mind if i did so?
    of course, if i posted the drawings on my blog i would link to your blog/flickr.
    what do you think?

  10. yes of course! that would be awesome! i'd love to see the drawings. :]

  11. I would love to hear your philosophy on photography, why do you decide to photograph what you do, what is your creative process, how do you select the photos that you show the world and how do decide not to show the ones that you don't.

    Would you ever collaborate with another photographer who had a completely different style? Would you feel comfortable putting down the camera and being only the subject of another photographer with a different style, process, of philosophy?

    Would you ever collect yoour works into a book? Would you like to have others write essays about your work and how they interpret your work?

    These are some of the reasons I keep checking your blog.

  12. that's a really good idea. i'm not a very articulate person, but i could try to do that. :]

  13. Well from a technical point of view most blogs are visually oriented, so words are not necessary. :)

    From an artistic point of view, you're one of the few photographers I know who actually manages to write using pictures. So again- no words needed. Your story is what we see. <3

  14. Nice blog. I love your photos. Great photography. Please post more.

  15. lovely photographs. very dark..

  16. Hi! You have a lovely blog. Therefore,
    you have a gift on my blog. Come get it here.


  17. i love this first picture so much.

  18. While i was reading I was thinking,
    God, this is exactly the way I feel.
    And when I read this:
    "i am just waiting for someone to discover me i guess."
    I tought it was me who was writing instead of you.
    I follow you <3
    I nearly forgot, the first picture is amazing, what camera do you use?

  19. oh lovely girl, do you see how much people you moved with just looking at your photos? and tiny glimpse of your thoughts you put under them is just enough to see a bit of your world. and it is a beautiful one. i would love to have you as a friend in "real world".

  20. i just don't have any opinions on what happens in the world, i don't pay attention to music or art or fashion or celebrities or culture, so i only want to talk about my life

    This. This is the essence of the self-portrait trend going on in photography these times. These apathy and complete lack of interest in anything beside oneself. If the only thing you're interested in is your life, why other people should be different? Why should they be interested in discovering anything else than their own life? This is the contradiction of postmodern youth. The only thing you're interested in is yourself, but still you desire others to be different and to discover your art. Ironic, really.
    Of course, I don't expect you or any other teenager photographer to be aware of any of this, but I just wanted to voice my opinion. Quite pointless, I know. But at least it is a reminder that these images of your little world are just a sad parody of art, whose aim should be a little higher than trying to make one's life less boring.

  21. i don't understand the point in trying to bring me down. if what i do is so pointless, then why read my blog and look at my pictures at all? this is a personal blog, it's not an artist's statement. i am aware i have a very long way to go and i am also aware that i probably won't make anything monumental. i've never claimed to be an artist --i do all to avoid that, really. i dropped out of art school because i knew i didn't belong there. i hate calling myself a photographer or an artist, and anyone who actually knows me is aware of that. i'm just a somewhat simple, mostly confused, and terribly indecisive girl trying to make her own life more interesting. and if you don't like that, that's cool.




My photo
illinois, United States
the fabulous destiny of cari ann wayman

all pictures by me unless otherwise stated.
all music is for sampling purposes only. please buy the records. if you are a musician and want your song removed, let me know.